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If there’s sand and a shore line, it’s a beach. On the way there, the girls were extremely excited about heading to the lake. I told them that we were heading to Million Dollar Beach and they were massively confused, especially my seven year old—understandably so. A lake being referred to as a beach required some explanation I guess I did a good job, because everyone understood. Part of my conclusion was, “If there’s sand and a shore line, it’s a beach.” As we emerged from the towering trees, we came upon the most striking lake view that reminded me of Marigot Beach in my island home Saint Lucia . It was indeed a view I did not expect, and I was more than pleasantly surprised. My mother was gobsmacked. She ended up calling my stepdad for a video chat to show how beautiful the lake is. The girls were also eager to get in the water. A sweet couple offered their picnic table and bench that they were done using. He warned us about the aggressive seagulls that began surrounding us. We sat and tried having lunch, but the seagulls were quickly becoming a distraction. The girls were initially afraid, but with a few lessons on gently shooing and showing them that the birds were more intimidated by them, they got the hang of it. I was so smitten by the view, that I went in and out of noticing my children chasing seagulls. We enjoyed the stunning views and seeing the steam boat Lac du Saint Sacrement cruise line in the far distance. After taking a break from lunch, we enjoyed time in the water. About three hours later, we packed up and headed home. My daughters said this was one of the best days ever. This day definitely deserves a repeat.

Beyoncé. I say her name and it either evokes immense admiration, hate or indifference in you. Wherever you fall on that spectrum, you can't ignore her name. With over twenty years in the music industry, she has managed to remain visible and at the tip of the tongues of so many people. But outside of her accolades, when I think of Beyoncé, the words private and fiercely protective are prominent. Ironically, it is these very qualities that make people perceive her as 'closed off.' With a reputation for being one of the most private individuals in the music industry, there is so much that everyday people can learn from Beyoncé's fierce protection of her privacy. What is also most admirable, is the people who helped create this wall of protection for her from a very early stage in her career. In the Harper Bazaar's September 2021 Icon issue , Beyoncé was asked, " How do you process the changing world of celebrity culture and protect your inner self? " She responded rightfully so with: In this business, so much of your life does not belong to you unless you fight for it. I’ve fought to protect my sanity and my privacy because the quality of my life depended on it. A lot of who I am is reserved for the people I love and trust. There is not one day on the internet that people aren’t out there defaming her character. As little as she gives the public, living such a visible life makes her low-hanging fruit and an easy target " for internet therapists, comment critics, and experts with no expertise ." It is amazing how people who have no access to the lives of others can have so much to say without evidence. All they need is a wild imagination, a microphone and a gullible audience. You do not need to be Beyoncé to know what that feeling is like. Whether you live in a small town or a big city, we've all encountered some degree of the psychological abuse of gossip. I know I have. As the lives of everyday people are being showcased more via social media, this is the time for us to think more about how we protect our privacy and our sanity. Every post runs the risk of unknowingly going viral in a positive or negative way with no ability to control the narrative. The level of intense scrutiny that can come your way will not be on the epic level of Beyoncé, but it can pose immense challenges, especially for people who do not have a public persona or a team to help control what happens. Your life may not have a lot in common with a billionaire performer and you may not sympathize much with her, but this is the perfect time to examine who you are as a person and how you would like to be treated by others you don’t know. At the very least, on a very human level, we should all have the right to privacy and the ability to maintain our sanity . For those of us who think that she needs to just toughen up or give us as much access to her life as possible, I want you to ask yourself, "Would you allow yourself to be open around people when so many wish for your demise with no valid reason?" and "Would you protect yourself and the people you love from such individuals?" More than likely, your answer would undoubtedly be "No” and “Yes” respectively. I have been a fan of Beyoncé's artistry for her entire career. I do not consider myself to be part of the BeyHive—a large following of extremely loyal fans who will banish anyone into obscurity who goes against their Queen Bee—but I do empathize with her. I cannot begin to understand what it feels like to exist in her world, but I absolutely understand her strong desire to maintain privacy, because as she stated, the quality of her life depends on it . The behavior of so many of her haters can be likened to that of stalkers, although I'm sure, many would not consider themselves that. They are the obsessed characters who go out of their way to make their unwanted presence known. Following someone on social media only to disparage their name and character is abnormal , but the sad part is that there are too many people who believe that this should be expected and accepted by celebrities. From being accused of being part of the unusually enlightened and many other allegations. It is no wonder she leads such a private life! All she has to do is exist, breathe and be, and that upsets so many people on this planet. When so much unwarranted hate and vitriol is directed at you, you go into fight-or-flight . She has chosen to fight back in the most healthy way possible. Beyoncé has given us all a masterclass on how to deal with detractors and haters in our lives. Existing and being in this world takes so much courage. Whether we're talking about Beyoncé or yourself, we all have to protect our sanity and peace. Of all the wild accusations I have heard thrown at Beyoncé, she does not take a moment out of her life to address anyone by confirming or denying anything. The level of unbothered that she displays is epic and highly commendable. I have a simple philosophy: watch how people talk about celebrities, because it will tell you a lot about their character. And by that I mean, listen intently to how people around you talk about someone they do not know personally. Listen to the assumptions they make. If they will do that to someone they do not know personally, what do you think they will do to you? Having also been accused of being closed off at some point or another in my life, I can relate to wanting to keep some people at bay, even when it includes family, who do not add any significant value to my life. It is human instinct to activate self-preservation. Keeping parts of you for the ones you love is how we should all go when faced with relational adversity, because I will know I will lose everyone before I lose my mind. Photo by Susan Walsh/Associated Press

I believe recipes should get to the point, the recipe , without the fluff. There is no counting of calories here. So as promised, here is the recipe for the delicious kimchi rolls that can be served as an appetizer or dinner rolls I made last week. Ingredients Rolls 1 parcel of premade pizza dough ¾  - 1 cups of kimchi Mozzarella cheese (any form) Goat cheese Garlic Butter 2/3 tbsps of butter 2 garlic cloves finely grated or diced ⅛-¼ tsp oregano Dash of black pepper Instructions Rolls Dice the kimchi into very small pieces and use a cheesecloth, towel or a strainer to squeeze out the liquid. Place your dough on a different chopping board with a thin layer of flour in a round shape and cut it into 6-8 triangles depending on the size that you would like ( for an appetizer 8, as a dinner roll 6 ) Form each piece into a ball while applying flour to your hands to prevent sticking, then flatten the dough with a rolling pin or widen using your hand (expert level). Add a tablespoon of kimchi in the center of the dough and top with a small amount of mozzarella cheese and goat cheese on top of the kimchi leaving about 1 inch of space from the edge of the filling and the edge of the dough. Pull the edges to the center to cover the filling. Ensure there are no gaps then roll gently in your hands to seal. Place on a liberally floured dish. Brush garlic butter on the rolls, place in the fryer or oven, and bake for 12-15 minutes or till golden brown. * Do Ahead:  Preheat at 350°. If using a conventional oven preheat at the beginning of roll making. If using an air fryer preheat at the same temperature from the fourth step. Garlic Butter Heat the butter on low heat. As it slowly starts to fizzle, add the garlic. Mix and allow to become translucent or brown. Add oregano and black pepper. After they’re baked, brush them with some more garlic butter and enjoy. Feel free to send pictures of your own.

The year 2024 is about to come to an end and I am excited to close it by celebrating my many highs, and acknowledge the many lows. As the days creep closer to the new year, I am taking the time to assess the events of the year. It is truly amazing how time moves so quickly, yet so slowly, because we then have to acknowledge if progress was made or not. I try to see my glass as half full always, so even when goals aren't met, I do my very best to show myself grace ; the kind that would be extended to me from a loving and caring friend. You see, I am that friend, and for that reason, I am looking back from the lens of gratitude . Grateful for Career Changes An unfortunate incident occurred on October 7th 2023 where the trunk of my car dropped onto the left side of my temple on a rainy night, leaving me with post concussion syndrome multiple fibromyalgia flares that made performing day-to-day task extremely difficult. I quit the position I was in at the end of January 2024 and began working as a substitute teacher, primarily because the schedule and the time off works perfectly for me as the primary caretaker of my two children, in a city where I have no dependable family. I believe this concussion was the catalyst for making a series of necessary changes, particularly those that involved the trajectory of my career. So many times acquaintances and random strangers would ask why I never considered teaching, especially since I am so great with children. I would sarcastically and with great humor retort that there are only a few kids that I like and that I do not like other people's kids, despite having worked with people's kids since I was nineteen and loving it. I was used to working with a younger demographic from babies to eight year-olds. The idea of working with teenagers terrified me, because all I had to go by was the horror stories I had either heard of being reported on the news or the extremely inaccurate American films that I saw about American schools. Well to my shock, I have grown to love working as a high school substitute teacher, a far cry from the work of being a human resources specialist. I can't tell you the number of times students have called me the cool sub, the best sub or will come talk to me , because they haven't seen me in a while . It warms my heart to no end, because seeing them happy makes me happy. With every class I walk into, I set very clear expectations from the beginning, I find a way through small gestures to empower them with a sense of autonomy, I find something to connect on so they know they're in a safe space and allow myself to be a sounding board for their concerns. As someone with lots of experience working with kids, I can honestly say, not a lot changes from how you treat a toddler to a young adult. You treat them with respect, you allow them to feel seen and heard, and remind them that you are on their side. As much as I know this is temporary, I am loving every minute of it. In many ways, I feel like I have gotten my life back. Mental Health Check, Renata Poleon, 2024 Grateful for my Sisters I can't talk about 2024 without talking about my girlfriends . I think of them and I want to sob from the profound gratitude I have for them, This is where almost thirty years of friendship takes you to . I am an only child, and my three best friends since I was twelve years old are the closest people I have to sisters on this planet. Though we are all in different parts of the world or cities, we make it a point to talk to each other regularly. Not a single week goes by without a text, a voice note or a funny meme—and there are so many—to each other. Our WhatsApp group is where all the fun happens and where we navigate love, joy, loss , laughter, grief and motherhood that is just so much easier to bear with my sisters. We lay it all at the alter of our friendship, vulnerable and ready to receive the healing and nurturing words from our sisterhood in solidarity with each other. Oh how we have all grown this year. It feels like we have hit another level in our friendship, We're talking about compounds and living out our latter years like the Golden Girls . I am ready for whatever life throws at me, because I know that they will be there to keep me afloat. Grateful for Love Renewed Being in a long term relationship has so many highs and lows. Two lives combined alone can have its challenges and then you add the ones you create together; it can be met with intentional growth or parties checking out at one point or another. Loving isn't hard, but it is all the other factors that come into play whether internal or external. Most of us come into marriages with the best intention whether we had amazing examples or not of what a healthy relationship looks like. With both of us never having seem what a healthy marriage looks like and never having been taught the recipe for a good one, my partner and I were going with the flow and making so many mistakes along the way. This year, especially over the last few months, we have seen such a shift in how we show up for each other . There has always been love, but the missing pieces began coming together. There is so much beauty in relearning each other unlike we have never done before. We also have a stronger bond that allows us to keep showing up for our children, but also give them an example of what a healthy relationship looks like, something that we both never experienced. Love and Marriage, Renata Poleon, 2012 Grateful for Therapy Seeing a therapist for the last couple of years has been a life saver for me. I sought help at a point in time when life was honestly drop kicking me. As much as I am so grateful to have my girlfriends, I needed to deposit a lot and I could not see myself dropping that much of a load on them. I also needed a much more objective perspective, so I reached for help. I've had the same therapist for the last four years and not only do we share a similar cultural upbringing, talking to her feels like talking to one of my girlfriends without her being a girlfriend. It is indeed the best of both worlds. Having her as a sounding board has allowed me to preserve myself, my relationship and my friendships. As a child of an absentee father, who has become more present in my life this year, I struggled reconciling my feelings. I realized that a lot of struggles throughout my life stemmed from feeling abandoned. For a long time, I felt like the three most important men in my life were emotionally unavailable, and having to sit in those feelings was painful but healing. I realized more and more that my responsibility is to hold space for myself and they do not need full access to me. I am in control of how I want to show up in these relationships and if I want to show up at all. At some point, choosing to decenter them was the bet thing I could do. Standing firmly, 2024, Renata Poleon Grateful for Perspective Adventure, 2024, Renata Poleon Not having it all figured out and accepting that I may never have it all figured out is sobering and contrary to what we have been taught. This year, I realized I doubled down on not participating in grind culture. I realized for a long time that part of the reason that I could not create and was limited in my creative abilities was because I was exhausted, burnt out, sleep deprived and deeply disconnected from my purpose . I am still trying to find my way through it, and one of the ways I began to combat this rather robotic existence was to leave NYC and make upstate NY my new home. Change is not particularly scary for me. as someone who left their home country at the age of nineteen with nothing but two suitcases, I know what starting over feels like. I will do it as many times as I need to, to find what gives me purpose and brings me joy. I realized that I have such a spirit of adventure that keeps me going, but also teaches me to appreciate every moment. I mean, I survived another year of motherhood, still in tact and the children doing well. I have to say, I think I crushed 2024. I am walking intentionally into 2025 and grateful for what 2024 taught me. (Top photo After the Snow, Renata Poleon, 2024)

Scrolling through Facebook Marketplace will always be a happy place for me. It gives me an adrenaline rush that nowhere else does. I love being able to get second hand furniture that I can give a new home and help preserve the planet in my small way. My bookmark is filled with so many items that usually includes amazing mid century modern furniture. They're honestly things I live for. As always, my choices are intentional and always have to serve a purpose. Recently, I saw a seller who had a beautiful dresser/sideboard that I liked and wanted for my bedroom. She was about fifty minutes away heading east. Everyone knows I will chase a good piece of furniture to the ends of the earth and I sure did. After having to cancel our initial arrangement for the exchange, I assumed that the item would be gone by the next week, but it wasn't. She reached out and told me it was still there and I could come get it to my surprise. I was ecstatic. I got up really early that morning and asked ft I could come earlier than planned. She agreed and I was on my way out. Living in the north east has its perks, but other days, it can feel like a crap show. Case in point, the tons of snow sitting on our cars after the downpour from the night before. In freezing temperatures, I got the snow off and started my journey playing one of my favorite artist Lucky Daye. The incomparable Lucky Daye/Flaunt From having to get snow off the car and driving an hour away between two states—yes, the Capital Region of NY is almost directly west of the borders of both Vermont and Massachusetts—was nothing short of an adventure. I drove between these two states and for about 15 miles, I was the only person driving east. Scary!!! Not for me.  Snowy Car, Renata Poleon, 2024 The scenery along the way was amazing. Crossing over the Tomhannock Reservoir was truly the highlight. It was straight out of a movie with a very foggy appeal. I wish I had driven a little slower over the bridge, but it was everything. Driving through the Tibbits State Forest along state route 7 was also very eye catching with the many twist and curves you would expect from being in the mountains. I also caught a glimpse of an interesting store The Potter Hill Barn and made a promise to myself to stop on my way back. Hoosic Falls, Renata Poleon, 2024 I got to my location and met with the seller, and older woman. I omitted a very important fact. I hadn’t noticed that the dresser was shorter than I wanted it to be. After pondering on whether should take it or not, I decided to make the purchase. After all, I had driven that far. When loading it up, we decided to load the drawers first. As I was walking it to the car, the joint between the front and side came off on two of the drawers. She was apologetic and gave me a price reduction to $20. It was a problem I could fix with some sanding and wood glue and took it anyway. On my way back, as promised, I stopped at The Potter Hill Barn and boy was I happy I did—sad for my purse though. About 30 minutes and $60 later, I was back on my way home from Hoosick Falls to the Capital Region. The Potter Hill Barn, Renata Poleon, 2024 Small Town, Renata Poleon, 2024 As soon as I got home, I wiped this baby down, pulled, sanded the crevices, pulled out the wood glue and got to working. Let’s just say, it was well worth it. I love the outcome. Until my next adventure, happy hunting to you. Feature photo Bedroom Decor, Renata Poleon, 2024

Originally posted: January 18, 2021 Edited: January 19, 2025 “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”  Martin Luther King Jr. (Strength to Love, 1963) Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. This day is a powerful reminder of our collective struggle for equality and justice. For many, it is a moment to reflect on Dr. King's profound legacy and recommit ourselves to the principles he championed. It is also a time to celebrate the unwavering determination of Black women, who have always been at the center of the movement for progress. As we honor Dr. King’s memory, we must also recognize that the fight for justice is far from over. Recent events—both triumphant and challenging—underscore the necessity of showing up for Black women. The 2024 election served as a powerful reminder of the significance of the Black vote, especially the impact on Black women. Once again, Black women united with a remarkable 92% strength in their collective efforts to help reshape the nation's future. Unfortunately, we had to come to terms with the harsh reality that, aside from Black men, we were nearly alone in this struggle.  This pattern of Black women bearing the burden of democracy is finally being recognized, albeit at a critical moment, as we collectively choose to prioritize rest. Tricia Hersey, founder of the Nap Ministry, argues that rest could be a form of resistance. In a recent interview with NPR, Tricia states " ... right now rest is critical because it's counterintuitive and counter-narrative to see slowing down, napping and rest as a key to our movement for black liberation. But it really is so important because rest disrupts and pushes back and allows space for healing, for invention, for us to be more human. It'll allow us to imagine this new world that we want, this new world that's liberated, that's full of justice, that's a foundation for us to really, truly live our lives. " Michelle Obama , First Lady of the United States of America 2009-2017 Michelle Obama is now being villainized for not attending the presidential inauguration happening today. Her decision, whether made by choice or due to a scheduling conflict, represents a significant act of protest—a refusal to normalize a political climate that often feels hostile to the values she embodies. As a former First Lady, Michelle Obama has exemplified grace, resilience, and strength. Her absence from the inauguration sent a powerful message: silence is not an option, and complicity is not acceptable. For many Black women, her choice resonated deeply, reminding us that we have the right to prioritize our well-being and stand firm in our beliefs—especially when the world expects our labor without offering anything in return. Michelle Obama's choice underscores a broader reality: Black women are frequently expected to support others without hesitation. We serve as the backbone of movements, the caretakers of our communities, and the driving force behind progress. However, we are often not given the same care and consideration that we provide to others. If all Michelle does is lie in bed today, I am proud of her. On this Martin Luther King Jr. Day, let us recognize and celebrate the powerful force that Black women represent. We must also acknowledge the allies who stand with us—not just during moments of triumph but also in times of challenge and controversy. Dr. King’s words remind us that it is easy to remain on the sidelines during comfortable times. True allyship requires stepping up when it matters most. Supporting Black women goes beyond empty words. It entails advocating for policies that tackle systemic inequalities, such as maternal health disparities and the gender pay gap. It means investing in Black-owned businesses, backing Black women-led initiatives, and amplifying our voices in spaces where we are underrepresented. Additionally, it involves challenging the stereotypes and biases that undermine our contributions and deny us the humanity we deserve. Black women are not saviors or superheroes. We are human beings who deserve love, respect, and rest. As we honor Dr. King’s legacy today, let us also honor the countless Black women who have carried the torch of justice through generations. From the Civil Rights Movement to now, but after all this hard work we are now choosing to rest. Others need to pick up the spear and fight the battles. To those who call themselves allies: continue to do the work. Speak up when it matters. Advocate for our rights and recognize our worth—not just when it is convenient but always. But for now and possibly into the foreseeable future, Black women are choosing to rest. It’s time for the world to show up for us. We deserve it.

This week has been a challenging one to say the least. One of my girls got severely sick with a troublesome one hundred and four degree temperature. And guess what that meant? I was home for all three days with my sick, sweet baby girl. My younger daughter on the other hand thought she could be absent by proxy, until she realized, that’s not how this works. She had an epic meltdown while declaring her concern and love for her sick sister’s wellbeing. As much as I appreciated her strategic thoughtfulness, I didn’t budge and she still had to make it to school on time. Yay me! I deserve a prize and a snack. While at home, I started thinking about how much—primarily mothers— sacrifice for our children’s wellbeing. Many may argue that once you become a mother, you’re relegated to the automatic responsibility of childcare, but I am so happy that my generation and those behind us are pushing back against this ideal. In our home, we go based based on who is available to work from home. If that person is needed in the office, then we go based on who makes less. With the way cost of living is snatching us all by the jugular, whomever has less to lose takes over the childcare at that time. We send the other to slay the corporate America dragon. Dragon breathing fire Thankfully, I survived those three days and now I am back to my day job— working with teenagers . Who would have thought that working with teenagers would be one of the least stressful parts of my day. As I sit here, one jumps into my class to say “Hi,” just because. Because of them, my fears of the teenage years with my two daughters has subsided. I know it’s not the same, but I am realizing the strategies that work with them. As someone who has been working with kids since I was nineteen years old in all age groups, I think I am cracking the code. A good balance of giving them a sense of autonomy, respect, and a healthy sense of humor really goes a long way. Most value authority in a way that isn’t constricting or overbearing, because it gives the feeling of being heard. They’ve now started coming to me to talk and complain about the teachers and subs they think are being difficult. It’s quite funny the way they sometimes arrive out of breath, but leave being able to get a different perspective and a clearer picture of what it takes to adapt to different personalities in an academic setting. I hope that my words stay with them even as they move into their professions after graduation. My experience as a mother and someone in the field of education take me back to my roots. I think of the fundamental values that were instilled in me by the people in my life, and one particular person comes to mind. She is the OG dragon slayer, a woman who committed decades of her life into service as an educator leaving quite an impression on the lives of many young girls and women. Who could have imagined that Sister Claire, a petite and stern nun who once served as the long-time principal of my high school, St. Joseph’s Convent  in St. Lucia, would leave such a profound mark on my life? I am not sure if the most quiet shoes known to mankind were handed out upon becoming a nun, but she built a reputation among us for just appearing out of thin air. She possessed a witty sense of humor and a painful ruler that we all affectionately called “ Tickler. ” On a rare occasion or two, Tickler made contact with my body at a time when it was and still may be legal for an educator to hit your child in St. Lucia. It was quite a time and a generation. If you reported to your parents, you received little to no comfort. You were better off consoling yourself through internal dialogue, rather than deal with the possibility of another spanking from parents who followed a philosophy of spank now and ask questions later . I don’t think they even bothered to ask questions, because no explanation could suffice for making your teacher or principal have spank you. In the minds of most parents your teacher was right, you were wrong, and it was your fault, no questions asked. I was quite lucky that my mother was the anomaly in that I barely ever got spanked—not that I can remember—but she would ask and lean into the belief that I probably did something to deserve it. Thankfully, that too was also a rare occurrence. Sister Claire lead a group of hormonal, teenaged girls like the champ that she was. She humbly ushered us from girlhood into womanhood by simultaneously displaying exemplary strength and gentleness. It was her leadership that helped many of us come into our identity, overcome difficulties and encouraged us to forge our own paths. St. Joseph’s Convent was where I learned the value of sisterhood, education, acts of service, good manners and etiquette. To this day, I still believe that good manners and acts of service are social currency that help us all navigate the world with grace and consideration for others. Here, in some small way, I am one of thousands fulfilling the legacy of a woman who played a pivotal role in my life. Her values, and the values of my alma mater built a resilience in me that connects to who I am today as a mother, an educator and a human being. Who in your life has left a beautiful legacy in you?

If you had told me a decade ago that my greatest cheerleader would be a tiny human I helped bring into the world, I’d have laughed. But here I am, a proud mom, blessed with a nine-year-old daughter whose unshakable belief in my talents leaves me speechless. She thinks I’m capable of anything—and I mean anything. To her, I’m an artist, a chef, a comedian, and, apparently, an untapped entrepreneurial powerhouse. This post is dedicated to her, my pint-sized motivator, who thinks I can conquer the world one business venture at a time. Kids have a way of seeing the world that adults sometimes forget. They see possibilities instead of obstacles, magic in the mundane, and strength in the people they love. My nine-year-old daughter is no exception. She’s the kind of girl who watches me create art for my bedroom and thinks my art needs to be in museums. She thinks my cake decorating could rival the professionals on TV. And don’t even get me started on her opinion of my cooking—every dish I make is “the best thing ever!” To be honest, it really is. To her, I’m a walking, talking bundle of untapped potential, and she’s determined to make sure I realize it. Every time I mention a new idea—whether it’s a fleeting thought or a half-baked plan—she’s the first to light up. “You should totally do that, Mom!” she says with so much enthusiasm it makes me pause. She’ll grab her younger sister and turn our kitchen into a cheering section, clapping her hands and declaring, “You’re the best! You can do anything!” In quiet moments. She will ask how is my idea coming along. Her words are so pure and so confident that, I believe her. But then the doubt sometimes creeps in, as it so often does for us grown-ups. What if I fail? What if it’s not good enough? And that’s when my nine-year-old steps in with her signature wisdom far beyond her years: “Mom, you won’t know until you try. And you’re awesome, so it will be amazing.” Mini cakes for my daughter's 9th birthday made by me, Renata Poleon, 2024 Let me tell you, this girl has ideas . She’s convinced I could turn any one of my hobbies into a thriving business. After tasting one of my chocolate chip cookies, she declared, “You should open a bakery! People would line up to buy these.” She’s obsessed with the little paintings and sketches I make for fun. “Mom, you could sell these. They’re so pretty." When I told her I was starting a home organizing business, The Tidy Habit she was extremely excited. She would show me her organizing skills and talk about being part of the business when she gets older. Unfortunately, after moving to Upstate NY, I decided to abandon ship. Even then she asks, "Mom, will you start the business again?" Every time she pitches a new idea, I am amazed at her belief in me. Deep down, I’m touched. She truly believes I can do anything. In addition to her endless encouragement, my daughter has a knack for delivering pep talks that rival anything you’d hear from a professional life coach. One of the most profound things about having a child who believes in you is that it forces you to reconsider your own self-perception. I sometimes find myself wondering: If only I can see myself the way she sees me. To her, I’m not just “Mom.” I’m a creator, a dreamer, and someone who can accomplish anything I set my mind to. Her belief in me is so steadfast that it’s rubbing off. If my daughter has taught me anything, it’s that no dream is too big—or too small. Whether it’s starting a business or trying a new recipe, every effort matters. Her fearless attitude reminds me that failure isn’t the end of the world. It’s just a step on the path to success. One of her favorite sayings is, “It doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to be fun.” That’s advice I try to carry with me every day. Trip to Washington D.C, 2024 It wouldn’t be fair to leave out my younger daughter, who is just as enthusiastic about my talents as her big sister. Together, they’re like a little fan club, always ready with compliments, encouragement, and maybe a few giggles at my sillier moments. The two of them have a way of boosting my confidence in a way no one else can. They think I’m talented, and capable of anything—so why shouldn’t I think that too? If my daughters can see all this potential in me, then maybe it’s time I start seeing it too. It’s so easy to let self-doubt take over, to downplay your talents and dismiss your ideas before they even have a chance to grow. But my nine-year-old’s belief in me has taught me an important lesson: The only thing standing in the way of my dreams is me. So maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith, to start that business venture or pursue that passion project. Because if my biggest cheerleader thinks I can do it, then who am I to argue? I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I do know one thing: whatever I decide to do, my daughters will be right there cheering me on. And that’s all the motivation I need to take that first step. To my nine-year-old cheerleader, thank you for believing in me. Your faith in me means more than you’ll ever know. And to all the moms out there reading this: if your kids believe in you, maybe it’s time to believe in yourself too.

The only resolution I’m making this year is to return my library books on time. It’s not groundbreaking, but let’s be honest: that’s a level of consistency I can aspire to. As for the broader concept of New Year’s resolutions? Meh. They’re like gym memberships in January—aspirational, overhyped, and often abandoned by February. Instead, I’m embracing a delulu mindset this year—living boldly in my own universe of creativity and audacity. I’ve spent decades watching the greatest show on Earth, America , and if there’s one takeaway, it’s this: audacity is the key to survival. Forget imposter syndrome; success requires confidence so unshakable it borders on absurdity. For me, the New Year isn’t a clean slate; it’s a chance to recycle last year’s unfinished goals and reframe my so-called “overambitious” ideas. This time, though, I’m leaning into the audacity of creativity in a world that often asks for proof before it believes in dreams. Creativity, by definition, is unconventional. You’re building something out of nothing—a book, a painting, a movement. It takes nerve to believe in your ideas when the world demands pragmatism. But here’s the truth: I’m tired of running from my creative pursuits. I’ve let the myth of the starving artist hold me back, but that ends now. This year is about birthing those bold ideas and moving toward the things that scare me the most. For far too long, I’ve felt like a dry autumn leaf, carried whichever way the wind blew. No more. This year, I’m grounding myself in discipline—not the joyless, rigid kind, but the kind where intention meets consistent action. Let’s be real: the last few years have been sprinkled with mild chaos. I kept pretending I had it together, but… I didn’t. Now it’s time to call myself out, reset, and move forward. Here’s my vision: I want my life to feel like Björk’s discography—quirky, unapologetic, and uniquely mine. I imagine a future where I sit across from someone who genuinely gets my vision, someone who sees the light a younger, more self-critical version of me couldn’t recognize. Being a creative person means juggling a thousand ideas and interests, trying to weave them into a coherent story of who you are and why you exist. It’s messy, exhilarating, and deeply personal. But that’s the beauty of it—choosing to live out loud, in full color, without asking for permission. The other day, while sledding with my daughters, my eldest looked up at the sky and asked, “Mom, what if there was peace everywhere in the world?” I told her the truth: “I wish there could be, but too many people profit from chaos. What you can do is create peace in your heart and your life.” She nodded, satisfied with the answer. And I realized that’s exactly what I’m aiming for this year: a heart full of peace and a life full of audacity. So this year, I plan on living my most delusional life. The one where my identity, abilities, and all the other labels society throws at me doesn’t define my possibilities. I’m dreaming big, being bold and taking up space. Scratch that—demand space. Because life is short, and when all is said and done, I don’t want to leave this world knowing I played it safe. I want to leave knowing I lived creatively, authentically, and unapologetically. Let’s create, dream, and live in a way that proves we were here—not by conventional standards, but by our own wild, untamed visions. This year, delusion isn’t a flaw. It’s the plan. Photo of Björk/Tim Walker/W Magazine

As we head into NYE, I want to thank you for continuing to read my posts as I keep rolling them out. I finally took my writing more seriously and I was able to draw you in, my amazing readers. There is so much to come in the new year, but I am so happy to have made it so far. I am now rounding up the most read posts of 2024. In Wellbeing , post election feelings in America, Explain Yourself: We Need to Talk , my lived chronic illness experience in Chronic Illnesses: When Sticking to a Routine Gets Hard and a weekend signoff Have a Weekend of Laughter made it to the top. In Motherhood , the congrats to 5 Unexpected Parenting Lessons I Learned from Being a Babysitter in NYC, Keep it on: Why Children Should Listen to the Radio for the parents looking to expand musical genre knowledge in their kids and Conversations with Kids: Not Because I Have to . In Relationships , I wrote about my neighbor Chuck in A Friend in Waiting: Getting to Know My Neighbor . This was my effort to throw caution to the wind and create community with the people around me. We also have my My New York City Hall Wedding from 2012 and 21 Questions: Get to Know me . In Adventure , the posts No Summer Camp? Now What? , Our Montréal Trip: A Full Recap to see one of my best friends and Saratoga Springs: Rich History and Natural Beauty . In Food , you read the Crispy and Flavorful Fried Chicken with Noodles , The Best Chicken if you Follow these Rules and Pressure Cooker Mashed Potatoes and Beef Stew recipes, which I hope you all tried. In Decor , Analysis Paralysis and Wall Decor: Overcoming Decision Fatigue took the cake along with What I Found, How I Styled: Thrifting Edition and Entryway Elegance: Choosing between Mirror and Artwork . In Style , one of my favorites to write Confidence, Choice and Love: My Hair, My Business , 4 Easy Hairstyles for Black Kids that Last the School Week and Chic or Not: Creativity, Confidence and Black Culture in Fashion round off all the selections. Thank you for being here! I hope to see more of you in 2025. Happy New Year and see you back here in January.