I am the product of a mother who had to raise me with a lot of help from our community. My grandmother, aunts, uncles and family friends played an instrumental role in the person I am today. I am proud of my mother's ability to stand on her own two feet and do what needed to be done to guide me on the right path. There are also the single mothers doing God’s work with little to no support, but still ensuring that their children's needs and wants are met.
You can't despise the one who stayed.
The status of a single mother can arise from many situations including abandonment, divorce, death, cheating, abuse (physical, financial, emotional) among others. Unfortunately, and far too often, the conversation of single motherhood usually turns into a criticism of the person who stayed. The loudest voices are the ones who deflects the blame from absent fathers who create absent father households to the shoulders of the single mothers. Not only does she bear the weight of being primary care taker, she also has to carry the shame. Very rarely is the well-being of the child/children involved the genuine concern.
The circumstances that create single mothers should be addressed rather than the single mother herself. Single mothers deserve all the respect and edification that you would give to any kind of caretaker. They require more support as many are trying to accomplish goals that can be difficult to meet in an unsupportive society. They do not need to be reduced to pseudo scientific soundbites of how they are responsible for the demise of the family structure. The pathology of blame the woman for everything needs to end.
Rather can criticize her, celebrate her, support her and love her. Show her that she isn’t being abandoned twice; once by a partner and twice by the rest of society. If children are a blessing from God, so are their mothers, the ones who stay. Here are some quotes to keep you going.
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