The Art of Giving

The holidays are fast approaching and the season of giving is upon us in full swing. The reminders of this festive time is the chill in the air, the need to indulge in Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday movies, the baking that is taking place in my kitchen and the smell of hot cocoa or peppermint candy. The pinnacle of it all is decorating our home and adorning it with Christmas lights. This tradition truly captures the essence of the season and brings a sense of warmth and joy that nothing else quite compares to.

Christmas time is supposed to be a season of selfless giving through acts of kindness, but there seems to be a shift in the culture. It is now synonymous with simply bestowing gifts unto our loved ones—lavish or inexpensive—as merely a cultural practice. While giving might go into overdrive at this time of year, it is important to remember why give to others, not only during Christmas, but throughout the year.

Giving is more than just a physical transaction; it is an act that involves a mental, social, and spiritual exchange. Whether the gift is an item or a gesture like spending time with someone, the core of giving lies in the thoughtfulness, love, and concern that one person extends to another. This is the true essence of the act of giving and it’s what makes it so special. Here are three core aspects of authentic giving that is geared toward empowering us all:

1. It must be done selflessly and with no agenda. 

In a world where everything is publicized and done sometimes simply to garner recognition, very little is private anymore. The focus should not only be on your act of kindness, but also how the receiver will accept your kind gesture. There should never be an agenda, otherwise the act is reduced to a mere exchange, rather than an opportunity to build a connection of community built on compassion.

2. It must be done with no expectation of being reciprocated. 

Giving fulfills a social and community responsibility. Those who have more, have the opportunity to bless those with less or those who cannot reciprocate. Some cultures don't have a word for "Thank you," because acts of kindness in the form of giving is the expectation. Growing up in a culture where kindness, generosity and bartering are expected from those around us, giving is the order of community; it not a merely a transactional language.

3. Know you're planting seeds. 

What really happens in giving is that we are planting seeds that foster relationships. By giving, you're also receiving. You may give time, or even a simple material object and realize that it helps in developing a relationship. As mentioned before, it is not the material object, but the thought and time put into considering the individual.

Keep these three things in mind, and the art of giving becomes easier, because a giver is also a receiver, and a receiver a giver. I know this may sound idealistic, but practicing these core principles can really enlighten you on the purpose of giving. Find joy in giving.

(Photo credit, @krystynwhitty via Black Girls With Gardens)