5 Unexpected Parenting Lessons I Learned from Being a Babysitter

Motherhood was not something I ever really thought about in my late teens to late 20s. My priority  as a babysitter was to give my best self to the children I cared for. I worked with my last family for almost seven years and it was a career that became a valuable training ground for the most important role of my life: motherhood. Looking back, I realize that many of the skills and insights I gained have been instrumental in shaping my approach to parenting. Transitioning from a babysitter to a parent is a journey filled with surprises, revelations, and growth. I thought I had a solid grasp on what parenting, but becoming a mother has expanded my knowledge in unexpected ways. Here are five unexpected lessons I learned along the way that have shaped my approach to parenting and enriched my family life.

1. Routine Isn't Just About Structure-It's about Security

As a babysitter, I understood that children thrived on routines. I followed nap schedules, mealtime norms, and playtime activities to keep things predictable and manage expectations. However, I didn't fully appreciate until I became a parent how deeply ingrained routines are in providing emotional security.

Once I had my own children, I saw firsthand how routines do more than just organize the day—they offer a sense of stability that helps children feel safe and confident. Routine helps minimize anxiety and provides a framework within which children can thrive. It’s not merely about adhering to a schedule but about creating a consistent environment that makes children feel secure and valued. For instance, maintaining a regular bedtime routine has proven to be crucial for my children’s sleep patterns and overall mood, reinforcing their sense of stability.

That sense of security also extends to parents as caregivers. As a nanny/babysitter, my schedule hardly ever went up to bedtime with my charges, but as a parent, I got to see how rewarding something like a consistent bedtime is to the well being of parents. It provided a consistent schedule where I can devote time for my nightly home routine and self-care after a long day of being with my children. That was an immense benefit to my overall wellness, especially as a working parent with little help.

2. The Power of Empathy Goes Beyond Listening

The philosophy of my life is to lead with empathy. I carry this belief in everything I do, especially working in childcare. I often practiced empathy by trying to understand the children’s feelings and concerns. I knew that acknowledging their emotions was important, but it wasn’t until I became a parent that I realized how deeply empathy impacts parenting.

My level of empathy seemed to have activated on a much deeper level when I became a parent. I became infinitely aware that empathy in parenting is more than just listening—it’s about actively engaging with your child’s emotional world. It means recognizing when your child is feeling overwhelmed or upset and responding with compassion and understanding. This approach fosters a strong, trusting relationship and helps children feel valued. It also teaches them to be empathetic towards others. Through daily interactions, I’ve learned that understanding and validating my children’s emotions helps them navigate their feelings and builds their emotional intelligence.

3. Patience is More Than a Virtue-It's a Necessity

Caring for children taught me the virtue of patience and the power of resilience, especially during challenging moments. It requires a calm demeanor and the ability to adapt to unexpected situations. Reacting impulsively or with frustration only escalated the situation, while a patient approach allowed me to handle challenges more effectively. As a nanny/babysitter, I usually acted as a support system for an overworked and sometimes overwhelmed parents, so I was usually the safe space for the children.

I could not anticipate the magnitude to which my children can tests my patience. Overall, I thought I was a very patient person, but when you're a parent, especially a stay at home caretaker with little support or outlets to decompress patience can start to diminish. In moments like being asked endless questions from toddlers to managing the emotional ups and downs of preteens, patience becomes more than just a helpful trait—it’s a fundamental necessity. I’ve learned that staying calm and collected in stressful moments can sometimes be very difficult, but it is crucial. Patience allows me to handle conflicts more effectively and model emotional control for my children, turning potentially volatile situations into opportunities for teaching and growth.

4. Creative Problem-Solving is Essential Daily

In my babysitting days, I often had to come up with creative solutions to keep children entertained or resolve conflicts. I once had a kid stick two small rocks up his nose. Don't ask me how I got it out, but we managed to remove them from his nostril. I thought this was just about managing specific situations, but as a parent, I’ve discovered that creative problem-solving is an everyday necessity.

I frequently joke that if my kids are alive with little to no emotional and psychological damage, I did very well that day, because tomorrow is another day. Parenthood frequently presents unique challenges, from dealing with picky eaters to managing sibling rivalry. Applying creative problem-solving skills has helped me approach these challenges with flexibility and innovation. For instance, I turn nightly prayers into a musical performance for my kids so that they now look forward to practicing gratitude routinely. Creativity allows me to adapt to my children’s evolving needs and keeps our family life dynamic and engaging.

5. Self-Care Isn't a Luxury-It's a Requirement

As a babysitter, I was focused on caring for others while still being able to take excellent care of myself. My job did not consume my life so I always prioritized self-care. I assumed that those same standards of care would be attainable even when I became a parent. Unfortunately, I had a rude awakening trying to walk the fine line of caring for the ones I love while taking care of myself, especially when my kids were younger. I did not realize how hard it would be to maintain everything, but at some point, I came to the realization that self-care isn’t just a luxury; it’s essential for effective parenting.

Taking time for myself—whether through exercise, hobbies, or simply resting—is crucial for maintaining my well-being. When I neglect my own needs, I find it harder to be present and patient with my children. Prioritizing self-care has not only improved my mood and energy levels but also enhanced my ability to be a supportive and engaged parent. I’ve learned that by caring for myself, I’m better equipped to care for my family.

The transition from babysitter to parent is filled with unexpected lessons and growth. While my babysitting experience provided a solid foundation, it was through the daily realities of parenting that I truly understood the depth of these lessons. Reflecting on these insights, I’m grateful for the experiences that have shaped my journey as a mother. Each lesson has contributed to creating a nurturing and supportive environment for my children. As I continue to learn and grow, I carry these lessons with me, knowing that they will guide me through the joys and challenges of raising a family.

Photo by Jurien Huggins/Unsplash